Bekah and I have been up in the middle of the night so I am zonked out as long as possible in the morning. Chris gets up with Kayla and they enjoy a little morning time together. Chris will wake me up at eight, which, when we don’t have to leave for church until 10:30, you’d think that would be plenty of time! After checking in with my FB friends and having some coffee with Chris, I will feed the baby and he jumps in the bathroom to get ready. By 9:30, I have to be in the bathroom for my preparations. Then Chris gets the girls dressed and hopefully by 10:30 we are out the door (it is usually more like 10:42).
So this day, we were running on normal schedule when I decided to wear a dress that I hadn’t worn in a while. After checking myself several times in the mirror, I paraded out into the kitchen to ask Chris about the dress (well, really, how I looked in the dress). Chris gave me the thumbs up, and all was well with me!
As I was back in the bedroom doing last minute things, I heard Kayla ask Chris, “Daddy, am I prettier than Mommy?” She completely meant this in an innocent way. Not at all with the attitude of who is actually better, but wanting absolute acceptance for herself. Chris quickly assured her that she was beautiful just like Mommy and that nothing would ever change that! He is such a great Daddy!
Yesterday, a friend of mine came over for coffee. We let the kids play outside and we sat and talked and talked and talked. We covered everything under the sun and it was great catching up! She told me about how her son had been bullied at school. This broke my heart. I love this boy like my own and he has been Kayla’s hold out for first pick to be her future husband! This boy is very smart. He enjoys learning and knows quite a bit about lots of different topics – – more than any other 5 year old I know! There have been boys in his class that are calling him stupid and making fun of him for playing with the girls and generally anything else hurtful they can think to say.
As a parent, you always want your child to have the self confidence to go out there into the world with a great self-outlook. Kayla has told several people “I am beautiful!” I know that is our fault for telling her over and over that she is beautiful, smart, funny, etc. We believe those things, and I want her to believe those too!
After my girlfriend left, I went about my house work but still was thinking over our morning’s conversations. I think the solution to both of our situations it to begin speaking truth to our children. Truth from God’s word (is there any other?). Truth about who we are, about how God sees them, about the accuracy and infallibility of the Word. Just quickly, verses like “I am fearfully and wonderfully made”, “in my mother’s womb He knew me”, “when my flesh and my heart fail, you alone are the strength of my life”. (all of these are in my own words. =)
I am going to sit down and find some verses that Kayla and I can memorize together about this topic. I would love any suggestions for verses, or comments about how you are tackling this topic in your own families.
1) Were you ever bullied or did you ever have poor self image?
2) Have your children been bullied? If yes, how did you handle this? maybe differently from how you handled your own situation?
3) How are you addressing this topic in your families and incorporating teaching into every day life?